I found this video and I plan on making use of this concept to build a much larger generator. When I finish making it, I'll post what I did, but the larger motors will run me $123 total, so I'm not sure when I'll get it done. I plan on using 3 pairs of AC motors in series in order to pool their output voltage. I'll just step the voltage down at the end in order to make it usable for outlets and such. This will in turn up the allotted current and make it a viable house generator.
So, how do you get "free electricity?" Well, you don't make electricity from nothing and motors do use energy to run, so it's not like you can use a motor to endlessly power another motor. You need something to continue supplying power. What do we know of that supplies endless energy due to the nature of the energy it supplies? Magnets. More specifically, permanent magnets. They stop supplying their energy, but it takes a TON of work to do that to them. At high temperatures (or in this case, high temperatures and conversion to electricity) they will loose their magnetic energy.
OK, so now we know that magnets have a substantial source of energy that can be harnessed for electricity. So, how do we harness that power? By using a coil (A coil is is a coil of wire and is a form of an inductor) we set the magnet nearby and the coil will draw the magnetism from the magnet slowly due to the nature of an inductor. (It acts like a magnet when it's charged up.)
If you add that coil to the motor setup, you're in fact feeling the magnetic energy (converted to electricity) into the electricity being produced by the output motor. Those two combined together can power both the drive motor turning the generator motor and due to the magnet, it will have enough power left over for other loads. (Things you plug into the circuit.)
So, now, let me show you the video on how it all works in this guy's proof of concept video.
Here are the motors I'll be using when I can afford them.
As I'm a scientist, I like to make sure my theory is correct before investing in materials for a project, so if you know of any further information that can be used in my project, please post a comment or send me an email. I'd especially be interested if you know what a good amount of neodymium would be or if you know of a more efficient type of magnet that can supply more energy and stay low priced. Neodymium has a large amount of energy in a smaller footprint. That's what makes them unique.
Experimental notes:
1.) I want to know what happens if we catch the magnetism from the motor coils with another coil and attach that coil to the magnet supplying the energy. Could we also catch the heat output to cycle that back through? Would those both catch the energy dissipated and extend the generator's life exponentially leaving only the drop of energy used in mechanical consumption?
Here's a message from a friend of mine who wanted to share it with everyone. Enjoy!
A friend of mine became curious about my unconditional love based spirituality and asked me questions about it. These are the answers that flowed through me and onto the page:
“So I've been contemplating philosophies on death and therefore life and keep thinking about you. Your philosophy on life intrigues me and I would like to know more about it. I personally have trouble accepting that there is more existence after physical death due to the fact that we experience physical life and birth.”
I'm glad you’re curious about such things! It means you are willing to open your soul up to the realms and possibility of an eternal soul, and that truly is the only way to access and feel that version of yourself. Your heart and mind must be open towards it so that they can flow into it. This is exactly how I found it as well. I explored the realm with my consciousness and then was able to experience it, and I have never been the same ever since.
There does exist an ancient spiritual philosophy called the 'Tao Te Ching'. It’s a bit hard to explain, so I will show you a video that does it very well! It's kind of lengthy, but if you watch it, you will understand the concept and it can change your life. Just as if anything deep, meaningful or profound is hoped to be obtained on this earth, you must be patient and willing to listen and dwell in one spot of consciousness for extended periods of time. If you want grand and ultimate meaning in your life, I can indeed you be found through this concept of the Tao. So watch this video and dedicate yourself for an hour or so to it! But before I link it, I will do my best to summarize it with my own consciousness.
There does exist an eternal sort of 'source' and flowing of consciousness energy. It is formless, and it is infinite. It is everything around you. It is you, and it is me. In this way, Tao is the energy that flows through all living things in this physical realm as well.
Tao, in essence, is the sensation and experience of being conscious and being awareness. It is the feeling of being self-reflective and it is the feeling of existing. It is beyond mental activity. You cannot THINK about Tao or understand it through logic. It simply, exists. Such does all things in this reality, simply, exist as they are; all things, at their core, are merely an 'experience'. As soon as you 'think' you know what Tao is, that is not the Tao at all. It is beyond words and labels, and it exists with you, through you and as you. Tao is the flowing of all life and all things.
I want you to imagine your reality more beyond the 'words' and ‘labels’ of that which you use to describe ‘what’ they are. I want you to instead FEEL the nature of your surrounding world with your soul and very being. For in the end, that is truly all you can do. In the end, all there is, is this experience of your own consciousness and unique soul energy interacting with other consciousness and energy entities. All things are experiences. All things are energy and vibrations. All things, in their essence, are something that cannot be put into words. And so, all things must be experienced to be understood and conveyed to another person in their entirety; emotions and colors emphasize and display this well, as how do you hope to explain love or the color green to someone who has never experienced love or the color green? Any words you could ever use would fall short of describing the experience for what it truly is.
Before the big bang, this great conscious source of Tao gave birth to all things, and so, all things are one and deeply interwoven and connected in this birthing. We all share the same source, and that is a fact of the big bang; we are all made of the same stuffs, this flowing energy that is Tao. What love truly is, is the ability to acknowledge another energy-experience and will it feelings of acknowledgement, caring and worthiness. Love, is the sensation of you connecting back to another piece of this source in which you belong to; and this is the most profound spiritual evidence I could ever hope to give for what I am trying to convey. Hatred and loneliness then is naturally cold and horrible feeling to you; it is a pushing away of that source and connection to all things of which you belong, and will forever belong.
And so, our journey here on earth is to take the physical form of a human being who is utterly ignorant. We do this as an eternal being so that we can have a unique, extraordinary, infinitely unique and worthwhile experience. In this, it could be said that this reality here is an illusion and a lie as we are in the ignorant state, because indeed we have forgotten and become blind to our true nature of existence; which is to acknowledge and resonate with the fact that we are an eternal and invulnerable being who exists for an eternity; an infinite soul who loves all things unconditionally as we forever flow forward with the source and continue to create and expand the oneness of all things of which we are an integral part of; creating new experiences and energy identities for all aspects of the source to explore and have fun interacting and connecting to. We are all separate but as one at the same time, and the sensation of love is the spiritual glue that enables and recognizes this.
And so! This is our existence and what we are doing here within it as conscious beings and aspects of the Tao. We are meant to have fun and adventures for all of eternity! Our true nature is being light-hearted, easy, flowing, and ‘light’ feeling in general. However, here on earth we are lowered into a state that feels more heavy, dense and serious! As is the nature of ignorance to confuse and surround us in darkness, it takes many reincarnations here on place like earth to finally make our way back to our more illuminated understandings of unconditional love and true existence.
There is indeed great hope though at this time of 'ascension' occurring on planet earth, in which the cycle of reincarnation will stop, and all who would like to will be able to end this heavier sort of dualistic earthly experience. If you look around you will notice how much more loving and understanding people are now a days, and that the truth of our true existence seems to be rushing to the top of earth’s awareness. Right now on earth is a very, very special time indeed. As technology is reflecting our spirituality, with things like the internet coming to be, love and the ability to connect and communicate instantly has been becoming increasingly prominent with each passing year.
So I think that covers things a bit for the Tao! Here is the link to my single favorite video on the internet about the Tao Te Ching. And one of my favorite people here on earth talking about it as well, Eckhart Tolle! He starts out kind of slow, but then he really gets into it. If you can watch the whole thing and keep an open mind and heart, you will be able to feel its truth; your truth.
"I personally have trouble accepting that there is more existence after physical death due to the fact that we experience physical life and birth."
Can you imagine and dream of an existence after physical death? That in and of itself may hint to the spiritual fact that you can and do. We are beings of infinite potentials, infinite possibilities and infinite powers. We are, in the end, ‘gods’; as we are creators, and what is a ‘god’ but a being who is allowed to create in the medium of universe making and designing. It is that here on earth, we have purposely limited ourselves at this time for the purpose of having a unique sort of ignorant-experience; and just as one will play a video game within the limits and rules of that video game's world to obtain a unique experience and fun adventure, so too do we do this on here on earth.
I quite love to liken this existence here on earth to an mmorpg (massive multiplayer online role playing game), in which we take on the role of an ignorant ‘human being-character’ in this hyper vivid and utterly ‘real’ setting of physical existence; the player of this game being your eternal soul and spirit, your perceived reality becomes your one true reality, thus, you become unaware of anything beyond this existence here in your perceived state of ignorance and forgetfulness. Just recently I have watched and the universe naturally led me to this anime about just such a scenario where a hyper vivid virtual mmorpg world becomes one that is to be perceived as their only reality, and it has instantly my all-time favorite; dying in the virtual world resulting in killing them in their earthly existence as well, the only way out is to end the game. It's called 'Sword Art Online', and its story is one that will resonate deeply with your soul and grip you within such a unique and profound way; and this is because it is a story line that parallels your time here on earth, and hints to the truth of your purpose for existence here.
If you can perceive your life here on earth as more of an mmorpg and as though you are an infinite player who exists to explore and experience forever, then it allow you to resonate more closely to that version of your true existence and self; and naturally when you do this, you will become more unconditionally loving, understanding and accepting.
Though I recommend watching it all in high quality if you can! Online that first episode is high quality and then it goes down for that site. The artwork itself is so very detailed and breathtaking, and the writing itself is the best just too incredibly awesome and good! I recommend watching at least the first episode so that it can help you to question your own reality in a more engaged and involved way.
“We start off as cells. If life were to continue on after death in the form of rebirth, how exactly would that play out? Does our "spirit" as it were just arbitrarily join up with multiplying cells to inhabit and experience another form of life? I don't been to be depressing on morbid so I apologize if I effect your mood for the worse.”
Human bodies, more or less, are organic computers to house the 'software program' of an eternal soul. We are not bound to our body, just as a computer game isn't bound by any program it runs. And just as you can download a game with a wireless internet connection, and the internet waves float the air in this invisible way as a vibration, frequency and energy, so too does your soul exist and vibrate as an invisible sort of conscious energy.
We go to sleep, and where exactly does our consciousness and being ago? Sure we dream, but we become 'unconscious' and unaware to this world, and then only an echo or perhaps small percent of our consciousness remains in our physical body; as I do believe our eternal soul goes to do other more eternal soul type soul activities, while the physical vessel and human-computer here on earth remains ignorant to anything that our eternal soul goes to do; as it is an organic computer bound by the physicality of this earth at this time, and we are in a state of having an experience that is purposely made to not know of our true identity until we find it here within our earth experience! Which is my purpose for writing this message in the first place, to try and help guide you back to your ultimate version of self.
And you see how much I have written to you in this message at this point! I am not thinking one bit about anything as I write to you now, I am simply allowing my consciousness to flow out of me, and towards you. It is entirely an energetic thing, even now as I type to you. It is entirely a spiritual thing, as I type this to you.
Try and perceive as though you are an eternal being having a ‘human experience’; an eternal being playing an 'earth' mmorpg. If you open your soul to this, you will feel the power, excitement and energy of this resonating with your soul and being. It is an inner knowing and depth that reaches out to you; it is a spiritual experience to feel that sensation; don’t discredit it as something not so very meaningful or profound. Even now as I type, my chest is glowing and vibrating with this inner warmth of love and soulful awareness. It is our natural state to feel this way. This feeling of eternal soul, connection and love. We mostly all feel this way as a child, but this world causes us to feel 'separate' from one another, as well as from experiences and other energies themselves. This world promotes things like greed and ego and separation mentality. Religion attempts to divide spirituality into categories, and it attempts to rule and control people, or it always has! It is changing as well towards love.
My spirituality is consciousness itself. My spirituality is unconditional love. I have strove for it and naturally I have been led to this place I am, and to know the things I know. It has almost effortlessly flowed through me for me to understand and to know as I have willed my being to get there, and you can do this as well. All it takes is your open heart, and your will and intent to arrive at that place. My words I am typing here are not here to 'tell you how it is', my words are here only to try and help guide you to find these knowings and energies within yourself; it is always a self and inner journey in this way.
And of course you cannot worsen my mood! It’s impossible! No matter how depressing or morbid you may be! I am immune to such things. As I resonate so very closely with unconditional love and my spiritual knowings.
"Another question has crossed my mind. It also partially answers the question I posed prior to this. Where did the energy that went into the big bang come from? Since this question has no answer right now, I have to assume that there is something more to the universe than our current understanding provides to us. It has been suggested that the universe is constantly experiencing big bangs. Expanding and then receding to form another one. All matter and energy stay in our universe but change. Therefore death is just the physical conversion of one’s self into another form. Like I said, it only partially explains my first question. Once (if ever) we discover the origin of the energy that made up the big bang(s) then perhaps we will have further scientific insight into life and death."
Here are a few more questions that don’t have, nor ever will have any sort of logical or scientific answer: What is consciousness? Where exactly does it exist and reside in the human body? Why does gravity exist and why is set up in the way it is?
I love to use that example of gravity I do! It is a 'law' of the universe, but why?
Gravity just exists and just ‘is’, and it is something you have to accept in that. Gravity is an experience, it cannot be explained by mental thought, and you cannot attach a 'why' to gravity. Our consciousness and our soul is that way as well. There is no 'why', it just is.
And so where did the energy from the big bang come from? Yes it has no scientific, logical, or mental answer, but it does indeed have a spiritual and Tao based one! It is just as I talked earlier about the 'source'; again, Tao is formless, it is timeless, and it is you and your being; it flows through you, and exists through you. You are consciousness, and so you are an aspect of this source. You are one with this source and one with all things that have come from it. You are one with all things that came before it, and you are one with all things that will come of it.
All things are energy, vibration, and experience. In the physical realm, energy takes more of a 'heavy' and 'limited' vibration and form; but limitations, barriers, rules and laws of the universe are something fun and worthwhile, and again, are so very akin to playing a video game or losing yourself in any sort of fictional world. We exist on earth in this unique way we do to have an awesome, one of a kind existence/experience. This is your true and grand purpose here, it is, to exist, that’s it, nothing more. You need not do anything, you need not worry or stress about anything. You need only exist here, relax, and be; and in so doing, you will feel the truth behind these words, and you will feel intensely happy, fulfilled and completed; you will glow and feel warm, and this is your soul resonating with the truth of what your essence is all about.
I have heard that as well! That no energy can ever be destroyed, but only transferred. And this is because source, Tao and consciousness cannot be destroyed; it only ever changes and takes new forms. The forms of a bird, a tree, or a human like you and I! It is little scientific truths like that that have led me to my spirituality as well; that and the placebo effect I love, which is the power of consciousness to manifest physical changes and manifestations.
And now I don't want you to be afraid of losing all sense of self or identity when I tell you all of these things I am here! You need not ever be afraid of anything, not ever! You are here, right now. You are existing as you are, and so now you can exist however you like in the future. You will forever have your sense of identity and self, if only that identity of human self will eventually change to incorporate your soul-self, which is more unconditionally loving; but your soul-self will always exist, forever and always, and it will only ever flow and expand for infinity; it will only ever continue to understand and have more experiences.
Yes, your sense of self, can never be lost. Your sense of self, is eternal; just as the Tao is eternal. All experiences, energies and vibrations will remain as a spiritual manifestation that can always be revisited or connected back to, if you would like to do so; indeed all vibrations and energies will forever exist for you to explore and acknowledge in this way. Nothing is ever truly lost in this unconditional love spirituality and awareness. Nothing ends. You will not end, nor will your sense of identity and self ever end. It can be a trap we can fall into I know! I have felt it a bit before and I have seen it within others, and so I am saying this to reassure you now. Fear, is always an illusion. Fear, is the feeling that you will somehow 'lose' something that is part of you and your consciousness, and I am here now to tell you that nothing can ever be lost! Not for your eternal version of self (your true version of self), not for the Tao. Things, energies and experiences are only ever gained and compiled within this existence of oneness. We all exist in an infinite expansion; reflected in our universe that is not a big bang leading to an eventual big crunch, as we once though, but as recently discovered that our universe is expanding at an increasingly expanding speed; reaching outwards towards infinity for all of time.
I have for you a couple more links to explain your reality and existence here on earth! And how science has actually discovered spirituality and these truths within our physicality here.
String theory in particular gives scientific evidence to the oneness of all things and this unconditional love and connection philosophy.
And now too I will link you to a couple of my own writings to help you understand further what it truly means to love all things unconditionally, as well as how to acknowledge your true existence and live and resonate from that place, rather from the eyes of ignorant human being believing that the earthly experience is all there is for them.
From out of the darkness of ignorance and into the light love of understanding~
***Please share this message anywhere and everywhere you feel compelled to do so. I do not copyright my words or creations, and they are for everyone to experience. I would love this message to touch as many lives as it possibly can, and encourage you to link it or simply post the words anywhere it is you are able to and feel so inclined do so.***
Live now as though you are the eternal being of which you always were. Perceive all things from that state of infinite and unconditional love, and align your earthly being with your true version of soul-self. You are more than you’re profession, career and job. You are more than your role as a family member or friend. You are more than human. Do not let labels or definitions of any kind define you. You are a being of infinite possibilities and potentials, you cannot be defined by words, and it’s now time to acknowledge this.
You do take on roles for a time and participate in them for a unique and limited sort of experience, such is your purpose for coming to earth…! But these roles are not who you are in your true, eternal essence. And these roles are not you! You can take on an infinity of forms and roles, for you are a being that is limitless, and all of these forms and roles are open and will always be open for you to experience as you please. However, the time has come to break free of all words and all mental concepts of who YOU are now, and the time has come for your earthly illusion and role to end.
In truth, you are not a being that can be grasped by logic or reason; for you are an everlasting soul and infinite being that can only be FELT through love and shared experience to be understood. In truth, you are a spiritual ‘energy-experience’ in this way, and you can only ever be experienced and felt energetically to be known or grasped by another soul. You cannot truly express yourself or show others who it is you are through words or mental concepts, because you are a being that is beyond the limitations of symbols representing abstract soul thought; words are, after all, simply metaphors to represent experiences and energies within this physicality.
The time has come to stop perceiving yourself in terms of words! Just as you can only feel the heat of a fire and its energy vibrating excitedly through the air to warm you as you get close enough to it, so too must a soul’s flame be felt in this way in order to understand what the being is all about. And to ignite the flame of your soul and increase its intensity here on earth so that you might be able to easily share it with others is something that can only be done when you UNDERSTAND who it is you truly are! Who you truly are in essence and spiritual nature! Beyond the labels and words of a limiting role and illusion!
Free yourself from all limitations this physicality may have instilled within you by changing your perceptions about yourself and the reality around you! You can do this right now if you’d like! It is your free will and within your ability to do so! Strive to get there, and you will! Trust your heart’s inner knowing and spiritually feel out the answers! Do not just ‘think’ and be mentally aware, but FEEL and be spiritual aware as well! Meditation is not something you can only do while sitting still in some quiet place with your legs crossed, meditation is the act of quieting your thoughts and mental activity in order to be in touch with your true sense of self that is solely your own unique awareness, energy, and spirit. It is time now to awaken and to live from this place at all times! Where spirit is at the helm and the guiding force in all that you do! Your eternal awareness and version of self who is all powerful and loves without conditions and without reason! It is who you once were and who you were always destined to become again after all!
The illusion is ending and it is time to wake up! Reclaim your power! Reclaim your true version of self!
You have no idea how many nights I've dreamed of my soul mate. I can see her and I think she's in this world too. She's a short tiny brunette haired girl and sometimes when I dream of her and I get to hold her in the Astral plane.
Last night I got to see her face very well. She has a child like playful personality and her energy feels like mine. (Sole mates are part of your sole and connected to the same over soul as you are.) She was on my lap while I was at my computer and looked at my keyboard and said that my backslash key was in the wrong place and it should be next to the tilda key. It seemed to feel more like she was thinking of an international keyboard layout and then I looked at the keyboard and there were international characters on the key she saw.
I just looked up the international keyboard layouts and I think she might be from Spain or Mexico or just speaks Spanish, since the Spanish keyboards have the backslash in the upper left and then the tilda a few keys to the right. Plus the symbols on the backslash key look like the ones I saw in my dream. I had never seen that layout before either. That could explain why I like Mexican food so much as well. Perhaps part of her cultural foods she likes leaked into my consciousness node? Her face could have been a Spanish person's face as well.
She looks kind of like this girl:
I've been asking the cosmos to bring her into my life for quite some time now. If you feel that you're the one I described, PLEASE contact me. I know you will if you're her as your personality will drive you to do it.
NOTE: Those who know me know that it always felt over the top when someone said so and so is my soul mate, yadda yadda. So, for me to write this means a lot. The term soul mate is so over used that its meaning has been lost and that's why it bothers me to hear people talking about that. It's like a broken record.
The way I'm using "soul mate" and "twin flame" is to describe a genuine connection with someone whom you can deeply feel a connection with like no other. This isn't just an attraction to someone because you think they're sexy or that you like who they are. A true, genuine, twin flame is someone whom you have a deep seated connection with. It feels like a longing, but yet you can't explain the longing.
I'm excited to finally be moving out of this place. There are so many problems here it isn't even funny. I told Ed that his daughter Brianna is a bully and that she needs help, but instead of facing the facts and doing something to help her be more positive and make it so she doesn't wind up like Gabby and Andi, he tried to make me out to be selfish by saying I never do anything. (Mind you he likes to pretend I don't so he can have a false upper hand. I've told him a few times what I've done, but when he has to do those things he feels lost and tries bargaining with me to get away from having to do them. Ex. Laundry isn't his thing.)
Gabby and Andi are his oldest 2 and they don't live here. (Thank the cosmos! lol) Gabby instigated numerous arguments for a week and propagated negative energy and no mater how much I begged him to send them away, he never cared about my concerns, yet I'm the selfish one. I was about to die from being in mortal pain for so long and he didn't bat an eye, yet I stood up to them for him. Negative energy is VERY debilitating to me. They have a VERY difficult life and I can see why.
Ed would rather leave his kids unchecked and allow them to be mean to people. He doesn't care that Gabi and Andi didn't turn out to be positive people. He doesn't care that Brianna will follow suit. I hope Milan and Melia don't wind up the same way. They're nice kids, but with a madman for a dad and a proven track record that he raises bullies, I'd have to imagine that their positive behavior isn't going to last.
Brianna bullies me all the time and Ed could care less, yet I stood up for him. Compromise to him means that I should sacrifice my happiness for his desires. He made very little sacrifices and hurt me plenty, but yet he still thinks I'm the selfish one. He's 55 years old and can't have a stable relationship because he doesn't know how to treat people and with living with Brianna who's a bully, people aren't willing to stick around.
I've told him how I see things and he knows what to stop doing that's hurting people, but he doesn't care. He often gets all liquored up and drains my energy. Some nights I have to sleep next to the stink of a brewery it's so bad.
I've learned much from being here including the fact that hierarchies aren't always such a bad thing. I wish I saw it that way growing up and then it could have fixed a lot of problems at home. Hierarchies are a good way to have the general interest of the whole condensed through one or two people whom the group trusts to make sure they aren't steered wrong. The thing my parents didn't always do all the time is ask for our input before making their decisions. I was fighting to be free of anyone's control, yet I didn't realize it wasn't about control, but as a way to act as a group with common interests. This is still new to me, but I've learned a hard lesson while clearing karma from my childhood from being here.
I also decided to just start being more agreeable when it comes to non-critical stuff. Even if I don't agree with the situation, if I don't feel like fighting to let people know my feelings, I'll just let them have their way and be done with it. For instance, creditors are trying to collect money I don't owe right now, but I figure it's a bit over $400 and I know money is in abundance and they will get their karma from robbing me, so I figure I'll just pay them off so I don't have to deal with court cases. Besides, they'd probably have it on the other side of town so I couldn't get there and they'd win by default as they can't prove their case anyway. As I don't feel like going through that hassle, I'll just use the law of abundance and let them have the money they wish to steal from the poor and give to the rich corporation. The cosmos takes care of the karma and we're good.
This should end the long stint of pain and it seems the rounds of pain are getting shorter now. This is the end of the 3rd round of lesson smashing through pain in my life. The first was growing up, then I got a break for a while, then my quest to learn to love myself and now the pain that was a bunch of lessons thrown into a hodgepodge. I don't know how many lessons the sleepers I live with have learned while I was here, but if they're smart, they will meditate on the situation and learn the lessons written in pain that they had while I lived here. Hopefully their darkness will recede so they can grow too.
I won't move in with anyone else anymore, but after getting to know the next person, they can over time move in with me. I don't want to have any more relationship issues that I have to be living with the person who hurts me anymore. I rather be a hermit, but if I live with someone who's truly awake, it could be a different story.
My comments will be shown with my name in pink with (Officer of the Love) next to it. This should help make sure you can tell them apart.
Author: iini Posted on: 02/01/2013 at 09:38 pm
Stay strong!!
Author: Harmi Posted on: 02/09/2013 at 07:40 am
Wow, I've been reading your blog and sounds like you've been going through some serious stuff recently. My instant reaction is to tell you to get away from this guy and let him sort himself out. Once he has done may be you can work on things, but you need to get away from him because it sounds as if he is just bringing you down. If you get to that stage in a relationship, you have to ask yourself if it is worth it? The answer is a resounding "no".
I don't know the background but I'd say you should be with someone who makes you feel good about yourself. You need an equal. It sounds like your boyfriend needs a consellor, not a partner.
It may sound cold, but move on with your life. You're here for a purpose. Don't lose sight of that. Show compassion to Ed, but let him sort out his drinking and you do whatever it is that you're here to do, and whatever it is that makes you happy.
Your website shows you're an inspirational person. Don't become distracted by negative creatures.
lol) Gabby instigated numerous arguments for a week and propagated negative energy and no mater how much I begged him to send them away, he never cared about my concerns, yet I'm the selfish one. I was about to die from being in mortal pain for so long and he didn't bat an eye, yet I stood up to them for him. Negative energy is VERY debilitating to me. They have a VERY difficult life and I can see why.