I'm excited to finally be moving out of this place. There are so many problems here it isn't even funny. I told Ed that his daughter Brianna is a bully and that she needs help, but instead of facing the facts and doing something to help her be more positive and make it so she doesn't wind up like Gabby and Andi, he tried to make me out to be selfish by saying I never do anything. (Mind you he likes to pretend I don't so he can have a false upper hand. I've told him a few times what I've done, but when he has to do those things he feels lost and tries bargaining with me to get away from having to do them. Ex. Laundry isn't his thing.)
Gabby and Andi are his oldest 2 and they don't live here. (Thank the cosmos! lol) Gabby instigated numerous arguments for a week and propagated negative energy and no mater how much I begged him to send them away, he never cared about my concerns, yet I'm the selfish one. I was about to die from being in mortal pain for so long and he didn't bat an eye, yet I stood up to them for him. Negative energy is VERY debilitating to me. They have a VERY difficult life and I can see why.
Ed would rather leave his kids unchecked and allow them to be mean to people. He doesn't care that Gabi and Andi didn't turn out to be positive people. He doesn't care that Brianna will follow suit. I hope Milan and Melia don't wind up the same way. They're nice kids, but with a madman for a dad and a proven track record that he raises bullies, I'd have to imagine that their positive behavior isn't going to last.
Brianna bullies me all the time and Ed could care less, yet I stood up for him. Compromise to him means that I should sacrifice my happiness for his desires. He made very little sacrifices and hurt me plenty, but yet he still thinks I'm the selfish one. He's 55 years old and can't have a stable relationship because he doesn't know how to treat people and with living with Brianna who's a bully, people aren't willing to stick around.
I've told him how I see things and he knows what to stop doing that's hurting people, but he doesn't care. He often gets all liquored up and drains my energy. Some nights I have to sleep next to the stink of a brewery it's so bad.
I've learned much from being here including the fact that hierarchies aren't always such a bad thing. I wish I saw it that way growing up and then it could have fixed a lot of problems at home. Hierarchies are a good way to have the general interest of the whole condensed through one or two people whom the group trusts to make sure they aren't steered wrong. The thing my parents didn't always do all the time is ask for our input before making their decisions. I was fighting to be free of anyone's control, yet I didn't realize it wasn't about control, but as a way to act as a group with common interests. This is still new to me, but I've learned a hard lesson while clearing karma from my childhood from being here.
I also decided to just start being more agreeable when it comes to non-critical stuff. Even if I don't agree with the situation, if I don't feel like fighting to let people know my feelings, I'll just let them have their way and be done with it. For instance, creditors are trying to collect money I don't owe right now, but I figure it's a bit over $400 and I know money is in abundance and they will get their karma from robbing me, so I figure I'll just pay them off so I don't have to deal with court cases. Besides, they'd probably have it on the other side of town so I couldn't get there and they'd win by default as they can't prove their case anyway. As I don't feel like going through that hassle, I'll just use the law of abundance and let them have the money they wish to steal from the poor and give to the rich corporation. The cosmos takes care of the karma and we're good.
This should end the long stint of pain and it seems the rounds of pain are getting shorter now. This is the end of the 3rd round of lesson smashing through pain in my life. The first was growing up, then I got a break for a while, then my quest to learn to love myself and now the pain that was a bunch of lessons thrown into a hodgepodge. I don't know how many lessons the sleepers I live with have learned while I was here, but if they're smart, they will meditate on the situation and learn the lessons written in pain that they had while I lived here. Hopefully their darkness will recede so they can grow too.
I won't move in with anyone else anymore, but after getting to know the next person, they can over time move in with me. I don't want to have any more relationship issues that I have to be living with the person who hurts me anymore. I rather be a hermit, but if I live with someone who's truly awake, it could be a different story.
My comments will be shown with my name in pink with (Officer of the Love) next to it. This should help make sure you can tell them apart.
Author: iini Posted on: 02/01/2013 at 08:38 pm
Author: Harmi Posted on: 02/09/2013 at 06:40 am
Wow, I've been reading your blog and sounds like you've been going through some serious stuff recently. My instant reaction is to tell you to get away from this guy and let him sort himself out. Once he has done may be you can work on things, but you need to get away from him because it sounds as if he is just bringing you down. If you get to that stage in a relationship, you have to ask yourself if it is worth it? The answer is a resounding "no".
I don't know the background but I'd say you should be with someone who makes you feel good about yourself. You need an equal. It sounds like your boyfriend needs a consellor, not a partner.
It may sound cold, but move on with your life. You're here for a purpose. Don't lose sight of that. Show compassion to Ed, but let him sort out his drinking and you do whatever it is that you're here to do, and whatever it is that makes you happy.
Your website shows you're an inspirational person. Don't become distracted by negative creatures.
lol I think that has a funny ring to it, technology Jesus. OK, here's the message.
Greetings, fellow Lightworkers! A new era has begun, a new beginning for you; it is only for you to embrace it. Many things behind the scenes are transpiring. You will be able to feel it if you go into your heart. You do not necessarily need to know all the details, but if you can accept it in your heart, you are well on your way to a new life, a new beginning.
Dear friends, there is so much you still are not aware of and the coming days will reveal more and more to you. Take it in stride and remember to stay centered and in your heart. Whatever is puzzling to you, just run through your heart like it was a decoder device. Allow it to sift through and come to awareness there.
My dear beloved Lightworkers, you donít even realize as yet the enormity of what you have accomplished. Time will tell, as they say, and it will sink in more. For now, keep leading with your heart and your love for all Beings, including the cabal, for they need it now.
I would like to address some more points to help you in your ascension process. You know by now that you are changing in form quite a bit. The crystalline structure of your bodies is becoming quite settled and prominent. It is causing you to want to eat lighter and purer, and you will notice that fresh, raw fruits and vegetables, nuts, seeds, and legumes will give you the high-vibrational energy you need.
Purifying your environment will also help you. Staying away from electronics as much as possible, especially cell phones and television, and being in nature as much as possible will nurture your being to the level it needs to rise to. And you know that being as present in the moment as much as you can be is helping you to counteract the dizzying feeling of time marching so fast and furiously.
It may feel at times like you are at the center of a twirling ride you would see at an amusement park. Stay rooted in the center and watch the world spin until it stabilizes and you have found your bearings. Breathe in the Light fully every moment as if it is the air you breathe, in gulps, if you will, and intend to allow it to reach all cells in your body. We have told you this, but it is very important now.
Just observe the negative sensations and memories and thoughts and notions you are experiencing and allow them to float on out like the waves wash out everything in their wake, out to the sea. In this case, the sea would be the Aura around you and let that transmute everything negative and recycle it out into the atmosphere and cosmic milieu as positive Light, Love and energy.
Pay attention to the creative thoughts you are getting as to what you wish to be participating in as the New Earth takes shape. Pay attention to the visions you have while meditating, of how you want to feel and be. Allow anything to be possible, and create with abandon, dear Ones.
The stage is being set for the Light to be more prominent and sustaining, as the darkness is being removed and transmuted by you with our help in the Spiritual and Galactic Realm. Know that you are so much more able now to participate in loving acts towards yourself and other; see it as the norm, as all the prior situations you have found yourselves in that bring you concern or pain will start to melt away, like a fog that is clearing to reveal beautiful blue skies.
Be prepared for memories to emerge of your True Essence, of who you really are before you donned the cloak of duality and tried out so many roles in so many lives just for your edification and transformation and evolvement, only to find your true glowing Self emerge with so much Divine Love and capabilities.
You are so close, my dear Ones. Please keep yourselves centered in your heart and do not be too concerned with the shake-ups and changes going on around you. See yourself as if at the center of a vortex and ground yourselves into Earth until you feel stable. Nothing besides your Divinity is real right now. Nothing besides your connection with all others in that Divinity is real right now. Nothing besides the Truth that you are One with all Beings here on Earth, and throughout the galaxies, is real right now!
Be prepared for changes, but see it as a return to your True Selves. Stay in peace and calm, as if in the center of a hurricane. The hurricane will not cause any destruction to you if you remain there in the center.
With all my love,
I AM Sananda and I am always at your service.
Funny thing, I was healing someone and I'm hungry and wanting ribs, so I started thinking about ribs. When I made him shine from Source and Earth energy, I accidentally made him start shining the energy of barbeque ribs instead of love. ROFL! I laughed and then I made him start shining love energy. lol
I found out later that he was going on a diet and getting rid of greasy meats, so maybe that's why I was thinking about ribs? lol