I figured I'd put this out there so Ed can see your view points on this. (Maybe I'll learn a bit too?) Ed asks me for sex sometimes and I'm A-Sexual. (Meaning I don't desire sex.) He can't accepts that and acts like I'm rejecting him and then tries to blame me and make me out to be selfish for not letting him have sex with me. Its my body and I don't want to be uncomfortable.
I tried letting him have some things like massaging me so he can feel happy that he gets to touch me and I enjoy the massage, but apparently its no longer good enough. I also tried having him have sex with other people instead of hounding me for sex, but no, his attachment to me is too strong. I keep telling him that he might want to meditate and realize that I'm not the only person he can have sex with, but he doesn't feel like it. He'd rather hound me for it and get on my case about it when I say no.
I know that if this keeps up, I'm going to walk out on him. I'm not going to sit around wallowing in his depression and drunkenness while he siphons all of my energy out of me to replenish the energy he lost from poisoning his self with alcohol. He drinks, he says, because he's insecure. It shows and I'm not sticking around to be hounded for sex either. His energy is bringing me down and its hurting me. He said he'd stop drinking for at least a week starting today, so let's see what happens with this.
My comments will be shown with my name in pink with (Officer of the Love) next to it. This should help make sure you can tell them apart.
Author: iini Posted on: 11/26/2012 at 02:07 pm
Well he is a Guy lol. But its cool he doesn't want anyone but you and its said somewhere sex brings people together in relationships. I guess what you can do is try to find out maybe why he wants the sex? And try to do something that will produce the same feeling but sex won't be involved. Like if he wants sex to feel super close like watch a movie or something. Or something that would trigger closeness
Author: Ben Posted on: 11/27/2012 at 10:35 am
I agrees with lini... But it's your body, we can't really force you to do this and that...but sometimes activities like this brings a couple closer? And it can't be help if he's around you, I read somewhere the natural scent of women is to attract her man to feel aroused and vice versa too...perhaps both of you need to start "inhaling" some man scent of his...let's start with a cuddle, shall we? ("we" meant you and Ed)
Author: Voff Uggla Posted on: 11/27/2012 at 06:47 pm
Hi Na'ven, I have a friend I've known for 7 years, he's a heavy drinker, he's an alcoholist. A few years ago he decided to quit, he went through several "help programs" and was sober for a year. That's what he told me, I didn't hang out with him during this time, I cut him out of my life after have known him for after 6 months, I didn't feel good being around him, so I closed my doors.
He came back into my life 2011 and we began to hang out again once in awhile. Then in January this year he became homeless and I told him he could stay in my flat, I have an extra room I don't use. Big misstake, yes I know alcoholism is a sickness but it's just not the drinking, it's all the lies, manipulations, broken promises, etc. He totally drained my energy and I felt unsafe in my own home, so one night I finally got enough, (after 5 months). He had brought a drinking pal with him, while I slept in my room, which was a "rule" he broke for the third time. I became furious, got out of bed, went to his room and basically pushed him and his friend out of my flat, shouting and cursing on the top of my lungs at him, 2 am in the morning. Now he's out of my life forever.
Alcohol is the main "love" for an alcoholist, they will come up with any excuse, to why they have to drink. They lie to others as well to themselves, experts at manipulation, they promise this and that, but always break the promises. As I wrote earlier, yes it is a sickness, but it drains all the energy from the people aorund them totally, and it's easy to become co-dependent. They are still responsable, they make their choices as well as I make mine. I'm lucky, I'm a grown mature woman, I made the choice to throw him out of my flat and my life.
This is my experience about living with an alcoholist. We were only friends, I guess it's more difficult when you're lovers.
Be well Na'ven, lot's of love to you.
Author: Voff Uggla Posted on: 11/27/2012 at 08:22 pm
By the way, I'm A-Sexual as well. I don't have a partner atm, but if I did and he/she didn't respect that, then out of my life.
As I see it, he's not respecting you and is trying to manipulate you. I presume that he knew you had no sexual desire before you got into your relationship. I belive as you wrote, that he says he feels insecure, there are many insecure, both men and women out there. And often they take it out on the people close to them. Example; He knows you don't want sex, but thinks/hopes HE can change you, as a result of that, he thinks he would feel less insecure.
Not true, he have to work on his insecurities from within, and if sex is so important to him, why did he chose you as his partner? Being A-Sexual means that you have no sexual desire for ANYONE, it has nothing to do with him. I mean I don't even masturbate, the sexual energy is just not present. But I love hugging and cuddling, physical touching, like massage.
You two need to sit down and communicate, this way you're going, will just drain the energy out of both of you.
Author: Magali Posted on: 11/30/2012 at 06:25 am
Or you are A-Sexual as Voff Uggla is and Ed knew that from the beginning and agreed with it.
Or you can't have sex with a depressed and alcoholic man even if you like him.
Voff Uggla explained the problem with alcoholism and it is dangerous for the you.
Ed has to cure himself for him, for you and for his children.
Author: Ray Posted on: 12/09/2012 at 03:59 am
hello first let me say that i am a 45 yr old man and i will(if i may)be frank so lets start. good news you are not alone many others feel as you do that is if you don't have a medical problem your estrogen levels could be of you may have done the change and not know about it or your man does nothing for you!. you must ask yourself a few questions the last time you did have sex did you reach climax was it alone or with a partner when you last did climax was it good? some persons are of little passion but that does not mean you cannot enjoy bringing your partner pleasure or maybe you may need more foreplay or alcohol. might i suggest tequila but wine will do i am not saying get trashed just stoke the fire also sex is addictive i suggest at least 3 times a week alone or otherwise tickle Suzie's nose get some nice toys but if you take any advice from me please let it be this go see your gyn and tell em what is going on get yourself tested and if your face is any suggestion of what your body looks like i dont blame dude if i was ed and ed was a chihuahua he would be humping your ankle
Author: Emer Posted on: 12/15/2012 at 04:48 am
Ed, if she says she is A-sexual, you need to RESPECT her decision. You are effectively harassing her. If you truely love her, why are you doing this, just to staisfy your-self? Do you not think that you care more about your own needs than about her????? She is hurting. Does this bother you? YOU are making her hurt. YOU. So, do you LOVE her? Because if you do, you need to be more tolerent and respectful. You could lose her forever otherwise. You say you are insecure. Why? Do you not have a great friend Na'ven to help you through life? I don't understand you really.
Author: Atheist Posted on: 12/31/2012 at 08:47 am
You should be happy and glad that he wants to have sex with you, that he finds you attractive (enough to want to have sex with you!); not push him away.
However, if he knew you were "asexual" when you two got together, then he made a mistake of getting with you. It's his biological desire to want have sex with his partner. It's the reason we have penises and vaginas. It's natural. It's normal. It's hard-wired into our brains (well, 99.99% of us anyway). It's useful for procreation, bonding, an expression of love, etc. Not having a desire for sexual activity indicates that there's something wrong.
If Ed can handle a lifetime of lonely solo masturbation, then he's in for one lonely, depressing, pathetic (non-)sex-life, and a lifetime of a probable feeling of resentment towards you, as he may feel as if he's not good enough, not good-looking enough, not interesting, doesn't turn you on, that you might not really like him, that you may not want him in that way (which, you don't! ha!), etc. Resentment can turn into falling out of love, cheating, alcoholism, etc.
It may help his drinking problem, too. You two have a very difficult and rough road ahead of you.
I just watched a video on how to perform muscle testing and I tried it myself and it seems to work well. Try it yourself!
Keep in mind that your perception of things will change your reaction as well. I'm programming firmware for my modem and its brutal sometimes. Its taken me months so far and I'm making progress, but when I tested it by picturing the modem, my muscles went weak. When I pictured how many people I'd be helping with my invention, my muscles stayed strong. So, perception is key as well.
Its all in energy. If you don't have enough energy to power your muscles, they go weak. That's why some people will faint or feel flighty around negative energy.
The exploration flight over the North Pole
( The Inner Earth My Secret Diary )
I must write this diary in secrecy and obscurity. It con cerns my Arctic flight of the nineteenth day of February in the year of Nineteen and Forty Seven.
There comes a time when the rationality of men must fade into insignificance and one must accept the inevitability of the Truth! I am not at liberty to disclose the following documenta tion at this writing ...perhaps it shall never see the light of public scrutiny, but I must do my duty and record here for all to read one day. In a world of greed and exploitation of certain of mankind can no longer suppress that which is truth.
FLIGHT LOG: BASE CAMP ARCTIC, 2/19/1947
0600 Hours- All preparations are complete for our flight north ward and we are airborne with full fuel tanks at 0610 Hours.
0620 Hours- fuel mixture on starboard engine seems too rich, adjustment made and Pratt Whittneys are running smoothly.
0730 Hours- Radio Check with base camp. All is well and radio reception is normal.
0800 Hours- Slight turbulence noted from easterly direction at altitude of 2321 feet, correction to 1700 feet, no further turbu lence, but tail wind increases, slight adjustment in throttle controls, aircraft performing very well now.
0815 Hours- Radio Check with base camp, situation normal.
0910 Hours- Vast Ice and snow below, note coloration of yellowish nature, and disperse in a linear pattern. Altering course foe a better examination of this color pattern below, note reddish or purple color also. Circle this area two full turns and return to assigned compass heading. Position check made again to base camp, and relay information concerning colorations in the Ice and snow below.
0910 Hours- Both Magnetic and Gyro compasses beginning to gyrate and wobble, we are unable to hold our heading by instrumentation. Take bearing with Sun compass, yet all seems well. The controls are seemingly slow to respond and have sluggish quality, but there is no indication of Icing!
0915 Hours- In the distance is what appears to be mountains.
0949 Hours- 29 minutes elapsed flight time from the first sight ing of the mountains, it is no illusion. They are mountains and consisting of a small range that I have never seen before!
1000 Hours- We are crossing over the small mountain range and still proceeding northward as best as can be ascertained. Beyond the mountain range is what appears to be a valley with a small river or stream running through the center portion. There should be no green valley below! Something is definitely wrong and abnormal here! We should be over Ice and Snow! To the portside are great forests growing on the mountain slopes. Our navigation Instruments are still spinning, the gyroscope is oscillating back and forth!
1005 Hours- I alter altitude to 1400 feet and execute a sharp left turn to better examine the valley below. It is green with either moss or a type of tight knit grass. The Light here seems different. I cannot see the Sun anymore. We make another left turn and we spot what seems to be a large animal of some kind below us. It appears to be an elephant! NO!!! It looks more like a mammoth! This is incredible! Yet, there it is! Decrease altitude to 1000 feet and take binoculars to better examine the animal. It is confirmed - it is definitely a mammoth-like ani mal! Report this to base camp.
1030 Hours- Encountering more rolling green hills now. The external temperature indicator reads 74 degrees Fahrenheit! Continuing on our heading now. Navigation instruments seem normal now. I am puzzled over their actions. Attempt to contact base camp. Radio is not functioning!
1130 Hours- Countryside below is more level and normal (if I may use that word). Ahead we spot what seems to be a city!!!! This is impossible! Aircraft seems light and oddly buoyant. The controls refuse to respond!! My GOD!!! Off our port and star board wings are a strange type of aircraft. They are closing rapidly alongside! They are disc-shaped and have a radiant quality to them. They are close enough now to see the markings on them. It is a type of Swastika!!! This is fantastic. Where are we! What has happened. I tug at the controls again. They will not respond!!!! We are caught in an invisible vice grip of some type!
1135 Hours- Our radio crackles and a voice comes through in English with what perhaps is a slight Nordic or Germanic accent! The message is: 'Welcome, Admiral, to our domain. We shall land you in exactly seven minutes! Relax, Admiral, you are in good hands.' I note the engines of our plane have stopped running! The aircraft is under some strange control and is now turning itself. The controls are useless.
1140 Hours- Another radio message received. We begin the landing process now, and in moments the plane shudders slightly, and begins a descent as though caught in some great unseen elevator! The downward motion is negligible, and we touch down with only a slight jolt!
1145 Hours- I am making a hasty last entry in the flight log. Several men are approaching on foot toward our aircraft. They are tall with blond hair. In the distance is a large shimmering city pulsating with rainbow hues of color. I do not know what is going to happen now, but I see no signs of weapons on those approaching. I hear now a voice ordering me by name to open the cargo door. I comply. END LOG
From this point I write all the following events here from memory. It defies the imagination and would seem all but madness if it had not happened.
The radioman and I are taken from the aircraft and we are re ceived in a most cordial manner. We were then boarded on a small platform-like conveyance with no wheels! It moves us toward the glowing city with great swiftness. As we approach, the city seems to be made of a crystal material. Soon we arrive at a large building that is a type I have never seen before. It appears to be right out of the design board of Frank Lloyd Wright, or perhaps more correctly, out of a Buck Rogers setting!! We are given some type of warm beverage which tasted like nothing I have ever savored before. It is delicious. After about ten minutes, two of our wondrous appearing hosts come to our quarters and announce that I am to accompany them. I have no choice but to comply. I leave my radioman behind and we walk a short dis tance and enter into what seems to be an elevator. We descend downward for some moments, the machine stops, and the door lifts silently upward! We then proceed down a long hallway that is lit by a rose-colored light that seems to be emanating from the very walls themselves! One of the beings motions for us to stop before a great door. Over the door is an inscription that I cannot read. The great door slides noiselessly open and I am beckoned to enter. One of my hosts speaks. 'Have no fear, Admiral, you are to have an audience with the Master...'
I step inside and my eyes adjust to the beautiful coloration that seems to be filling the room completely. Then I begin to see my sur roundings. What greeted my eyes is the most beautiful sight of my entire existence. It is in fact too beautiful and wondrous to describe. It is exquisite and delicate. I do not think there exists a human term that can describe it in any detail with justice! My thoughts are interrupted in a cordial manner by a warm rich voice of melodious quality, 'I bid you welcome to our domain, Admiral.' I see a man with delicate features and with the etching of years upon his face. He is seated at a long table. He motions me to sit down in one of the chairs. After I am seated, he places his fingertips together and smiles. He speaks softly again, and conveys the following.
'We have let you enter here because you are of noble character and well-known on the Surface World, Admiral.' Surface World, I half-gasp under my breath! 'Yes," the Master replies with a smile, 'you are in the domain of the Arianni, the Inner World of the Earth. We shall not long delay your mission, and you will be safely escorted back to the surface and for a distance beyond. But now, Admiral, I shall tell you why you have been summoned here. Our interest rightly begins just after your race exploded the first atomic bombs over Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japan. It was at that alarm ing time we sent our flying machines, the "Flugelrads", to your surface world to investigate what your race had done. That is, of course, past history now, my dear Admiral, but I must continue on. You see, we have never interfered before in your race's wars, and barbarity, but now we must, for you have learned to tamper with a certain power that is not for man, namely, that of atomic energy. Our emissaries have already delivered messages to the powers of your world, and yet they do not heed. Now you have been chosen to be witness here that our world does exist. You see, our Culture and Science is many thousands of years beyond your race, Admiral.' I interrupted, 'But what does this have to do with me, Sir?'
The Master's eyes seemed to penetrate deeply into my mind, and after studying me for a few moments he replied, 'Your race has now reached the point of no return, for there are those among you who would destroy your very world rather than relinquish their power as they know it...' I nodded, and the Master continued, 'In 1945 and afterward, we tried to contact your race, but our efforts were met with hostility, our Flugelrads were fired upon. Yes, even pursued with malice and animosity by your fighter planes. So, now, I say to you, my son, there is a great storm gathering in your world, a black fury that will not spend itself for many years. There will be no answer in your arms, there will be no safety in your science. It may rage on until every flower of your culture is trampled, and all human things are leveled in vast chaos. Your recent war was only a prelude of what is yet to come for your race. We here see it more clearly with each hour..do you say I am mistaken?'
'No,' I answer, 'it happened once before, the dark ages came and they lasted for more than five hundred years.'
'Yes, my son,' replied the Master, 'the dark ages that will come now for your race will cover the Earth like a pall, but I believe that some of your race will live through the storm, beyond that, I cannot say. We see at a great distance a new world stirring from the ruins of your race, seeking its lost and legendary treasures, and they will be here, my son, safe in our keeping. When that time arrives, we shall come forward again to help revive your culture and your race. Perhaps, by then, you will have learned the futility of war and its strife...and after that time, certain of your culture and science will be returned for your race to begin anew. You, my son, are to return to the Surface World with this message.....'
With these closing words, our meeting seemed at an end. I stood for a moment as in a dream....but, yet, I knew this was reality, and for some strange reason I bowed slightly, either out of respect or humility, I do not know which.
Suddenly, I was again aware that the two beautiful hosts who had brought me here were again at my side. 'This way, Admiral,' motioned one. I turned once more before leaving and looked back toward the Master. A gentle smile was etched on his delicate and ancient face. 'Farewell, my son,' he spoke, then he gestured with a lovely, slender hand a motion of peace and our meeting was truly ended.
Quickly, we walked back through the great door of the Master's chamber and once again entered into the elevator. The door slid silently downward and we were at once going upward. One of my hosts spoke again, 'We must now make haste, Admiral, as the Master desires to delay you no longer on your scheduled timetable and you must return with his message to your race.'
I said nothing. All of this was almost beyond belief, and once again my thoughts were interrupted as we stopped. I entered the room and was again with my radioman. He had an anxious expres sion on his face. As I approached, I said, 'It is all right, Howie, it is all right.' The two beings motioned us toward the awaiting conveyance, we boarded, and soon arrived back at the aircraft. The engines were idling and we boarded immediately. The whole atmosphere seemed charged now with a certain air of urgency. After the cargo door was closed the aircraft was imme diately lifted by that unseen force until we reached an altitude of 2700 feet. Two of the aircraft were alongside for some dis tance guiding us on our return way. I must state here, the airspeed indicator registered no reading, yet we were moving along at a very rapid rate.
215 Hours- A radio message comes through. 'We are leaving you now, Admiral, your controls are free. Goodbye!!!!' We watched for a moment as the flugelrads disappeared into the pale blue sky.
The aircraft suddenly felt as though caught in a sharp downdraft for a moment. We quickly recovered her control. We do not speak for some time, each man has his thoughts....
ENTRY IN FLIGHT LOG CONTINUES:
220 Hours- We are again over vast areas of ice and snow, and approximately 27 minutes from base camp. We radio them, they respond. We report all conditions normal....normal. Base camp expresses relief at our re-established contact.
300 Hours- We land smoothly at base camp. I have a mission.....
END LOG ENTRIES.
March 11, 1947. I have just attended a staff meeting at the Pentagon. I have stated fully my discovery and the message from the Master. All is duly recorded. The President has been ad vised. I am now detained for several hours (six hours, thirty- nine minutes, to be exact.) I am interviewed intently by Top Security Forces and a medical team. It was an ordeal!!!! I am placed under strict control via the national security provisions of this United States of America. I am ORDERED TO REMAIN SILENT IN REGARD TO ALL THAT I HAVE LEARNED, ON THE BEHALF OF HUMANITY1111 Incredible! I am reminded that I am a military man and I must obey orders.
30/12/56: FINAL ENTRY:
These last few years elapsed since 1947 have not been kind...I now make my final entry in this singular diary. In closing, I must state that I have faithfully kept this matter secret as directed all these years. It has been completely against my values of moral right. Now, I seem to sense the long night coming on and this secret will not die with me, but as all truth shall, it will triumph and so it shall.
This can be the only hope for mankind. I have seen the truth and it has quickened my spirit and has set me free! I have done my duty toward the monstrous military industrial complex. Now, the long night begins to approach, but there shall be no end. Just as the long night of the Arctic ends, the brilliant sunshine of Truth shall come again....and those who are of darkness shall fall in it's Light..FOR I HAVE SEEN THAT LAND BEYOND THE POLE, THAT CENTER OF THE GREAT UNKNOWN.
Admiral Richard E. Byrd
United States Navy
24 December 1956
Just as all of the channeling have said it would be~ Here it is! Isn't it entirely obvious how that Ascension is under way? The arrests and exposing their crimes like this is the very first step to getting the proverbial light ball rolling here! I’ve always loved Jon Stewart to death! He’s a true lightworker and great friend to the people!~ A highly intelligent master of summation when it comes to all of the corruption involving politics in our world, and he always delivers it in a witty and entertaining way. If you want to watch the fireworks display that is the dark cabal and Illuminati going up in flames, I suggest watching his show to easily keep up to date on things and learning them about them in a lighthearted, non-aggressive and fun way! It’s quite fun to watch him metaphorically poke his stick at Mitt Romney as he ignorantly flails about in this world like a fish not receiving the proper amount of darkness he was once used to. The light is growing stronger and stronger, and it clearly shows and is evident at how very desperate and blatantly stupid those dark entities are now appearing in the public eye. They are making mistake after mistake, they are backed into a corner, they are being repeatedly exposed for what they are, and this video and all of its original sources seems to me like the very first HUGE domino that will being flood our main stream media like a wave illumination upon all that dark cabal’s going-ons and wrong doings.
I just LOVE at the end how he jokes quickly around at them being the Illuminati at the end of part 1! Subtly implanting that truth in the masses perhaps to make it less harsh when more of all of this comes to light? Two of the people in charge: Mr. Rich Ricci and Mr. Diamond…… Obviously these people are two puppets controlled by the those true dark entities behind the scenes controlling everything, and the sheer arrogance and irony in their choice of names is as if they were purposely flaunting the whole situation in our faces. It is if a poorly written day time drama or cheesy work of fiction! And another part that is mentioned: finding about libor is like finding out that “the whole world is built on quicksand.” And that couldn’t be more true…
The structure that the dark forces have poorly conceived and set up is falling apart at the seams and is begging to be exposed in its entirety; that should be blatantly obvious after seen these two short little clips here. Now all you light workers stay hopeful, focus your wills, and hold on for the ride~ Because it’s going to an awesome, liberating journey into all things loving and lightful!
As you might have experienced in your own private reality, I recently went through a reboot and this time it took a couple days. During that time I lost interest in everything and when everything came back up again, the things I had little interest before hand, went away completely and other interests started to make their decent into falling away.
Also, after the reboot, I just noticed that when I played music today, it messed with my energy in an easier way for me to feel it. Even if I enjoy how something sounds, it will pull at my energy and I'll no longer be able to listen to that, but fun stuff like "Taxi Driver Man," hike up my energy and get it moving well and I feel more invigorated
Keep in mind that music isn't a major part of my life, but its just something to listen to every once in a while, so it was perfectly fine that some things I liked, I can't energetically handle anymore. If music is still a big thing for you because you like certain groups or something, but you can't pull yourself away from them just yet, then most likely you'll have a nice easy gradient before music starts to impact you in that way, so that you can handle it.
For me, I have little interest in anything 3D based now, but I know that I have a need to be here for the time being and that there will always be something to keep me entertained. I just started cracking down on being a hermit as well and the other day when I was out walking, I found that my consciousness shifted and I stopped being overstimulated. A HUGE weight was lifted off of my shoulders with that one and the rest of the day, everyone I met was fun to talk to. I'm now entering the point where I'm going to be going out more often and doing fun stuff, so this will be a VERY nice contrast from the hermit life. I've been needing this and now I have a catalyst. (A reason to go out and a place to go.)
My comments will be shown with my name in pink with (Officer of the Love) next to it. This should help make sure you can tell them apart.
Author: Paul Murtagh Posted on: 07/08/2012 at 04:04 am
While meditating 3 months ago I became aware of the following ( thats the best way I can describr it )..That there are people on the planet that look after it and care for it..That periodically they surface to check how things are going..That they work for peace..Equally was the awareness that there was an oposing force ( people )..Any thoughts on this ?